Smokey Bear Working to Ban Canadians

SASKATCHEWAN, CANADA—As the wildfires rage on in Canada, Smokey Bear is working with local politicians in the United States to ban Canadian immigrants. “We can’t have Canadians in the United States after all of the messages I’ve had broadcasted on T.V.” Smokey told us. “They blatantly ignored my messages and many Midwestern states are suffering from their insolence.” If the law passes, all Canadians immigrants will need to return to their home country. If this is the only way to get rid of Justin Bieber, here’s to hoping that it gets passed. Smokey also told us that he may be running for the 2016 presidential election, but he has not decided yet. He told us that if he becomes president, he’ll remove Canada from the world map.