MIAMI, FL—Doctors in Miami have found a groundbreaking procedure to immediately cure almost all sports-related injuries. The doctor in charge of the research is Dr. Thomas O’Fulp, and he’s very excited to finally introduce the procedure to the public. "We've been working on this procedure for almost a decade now. We finally broke new ground and we’re ready to share it with the public."
Dr. O’Fulp has already performed over 2,000 of these procedures—many of them on star athletes. “The best thing about this procedure,” O'Fulp told us, “is that you can even do it at home. You’ll need to buy our starter kit for $99.99 and any additional equipment ranges from $10 to $10,000.” That may seem expensive, but you’ll likely pay more if you were to visit a local hospital according to O’Fulp. The kit includes their proprietary back scratcher, foot massager, pill bottle, instruction sheet, and their Magic Wand™. Don’t worry—the contents of the starter kit have all been deemed safe to use by Dr. O’Fulp himself.
“I can’t stress enough how great it is to finally be able to share this with the public. With only a few dollars down, any sports related injury you have can be cured in seconds.” Of course, there will be skeptics, but the only way to find out if it works or not is to pick one up yourself.
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